Casandra came to NEW wanting to start over. A life of drugs, prison, and abusive relationships had left her feeling tired. One of the first things she did as she evaluated her life was take pen to paper and write down her story, hard times and all.
“Growing up wasn’t easy,” her essay begins. “I was the black sheep of the family. That’s what I was known for.”
A DC native, Casandra was physically, mentally, and sexually abused by people whom she should have been able to trust. “I was known as a run-away child running wild,” she writes. “I ran away because I got tired of being beaten and molested. So I ran away every chance I got.”
She started doing drugs to escape the pain. “I used to love the way it made me feel. It was like I was on cloud 9,” she said. “I didn’t care because I didn’t want to feel any pain at all.”
She had her first child at 17 and three after that. “I didn’t know any better,” she said. “I was looking for love, love that I didn’t get from my mom and dad. I never felt love. I always felt pain.”
She started dealing drugs and was kicked out of school. Drugs and life on the street took hold of her. “I’ve hurt myself and my kids. I was leaving them with no one knowing where I was. It was terrible, and a lot of pain has been done, but I cannot make up for the past.” In and out of prison. In and out of sobriety. “I thought I was sitting on top of the world, but I was just a dressed-up garbage can.”
With a belief that God had a plan for her, Casandra came to NEW. “I want to live my life the way God wants me to do it,” she said. And that, she knows, means sober. Casandra’s daughter died unexpectedly recently, and even through her grief, she was able to stay sober. At NEW, Casandra started a support group called Rap, where women are invited to come together to share their challenges and find peace in themselves. Many of the NEW women have appreciated it so much. “When God gives you something, you have to pass it on to other people. You can’t forget where your help comes from,” Casandra said.
With 10 months sober and counting, Casandra is moving out of NEW’s Transitional housing program to her own permanent apartment. She is thankful for her partner of 13 years, Darius whom she calls, “an Angel who has been with me through thick and thin.” She is grateful for her Case Manager, Ms. Hinson whom she said, “I love to death,” and who helped her set boundaries. And she thanks her daughters, sisters, son, sponsor, and God for not giving up on her and helping her get through. “Things are very good for me and getting better,” she said. She plans on starting another women’s group to keep helping women like her and making sure they know they are not alone.
Casandra is looking forward to hosting her family during the Holidays and for her grandkids to come to visit her. She also plans on writing down the next chapter of her life. She ends the first chapter writing, “Just know that even though we may go through our changes, there’s another side of life which we can move forward to, so just don’t ever give up on yourself. Just keep moving forward.”
And Casandra does.